Disconnected
by BeuitifulDisgrace246
Summary: Seto couldn't fulfill his promise he made to Jou. Seto leaves to meet with him, but is it too late? Has Jou already become... disconnected? Oneshot. SetoJou R&R please!


Title: Disconnected

Authoress: BeuitifulDisgrace246

Summary: His love had been dying for a while now. Every night, it was the same. Cry in fear of his death, and cry in fear of rejection. He thought he was strong enough to fulfill his promise and tell him how he felt. But when it came down to it, he couldn't survive. He let him become disconnected...SetoJou Angst! R&R Please:)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or the song, "Must Be Dreaming" by Frou Frou or "Disconnected (Out Of Touch) by Trapt. I suggest you check those songs out though…

----

I'll never know if he finally figured out that I loved him.

It was a hard day at work; I ended up falling asleep and got there late…

That's what I regret the very most.

I wonder what he would have done if it had been me, sitting in that pale-white hospital room. Arms shaky for comfort, for love…for _his _love…

Love that I never gave him: only in private, only in my mind.

----

_You don't really know me, _

_I don't think you ever even tried _

_Were on the same routine _

_Where you say you never have the time _

_What do you want me to be? _

_Do you want me in your life? _

_I feel so incomplete _

_You left me to fall behind_

----

'_Knock, knock.' _I sluggishly slid out of my bed, eyes red and insanely puffy. As I walked with a blank stare, my arm moved to wipe away drying tears. That would be my only attempt at looking presentable when I felt _so_ pitiful.

At that moment, I didn't care who was at my door, unless it was _one _person. _'The most important person in my life…'_ I knew it was impossible for it to be him. _'Creak'_ Blank stare affixed firmly to my face, I took in the appearance of my visitor.

A young man, eyes frazzled, a guilty cold sweat shimmering on his forehead. "Uhmm…Seto Kaiba?" Nodding wearily, I moved so the man could come in. My feet slid, echoing vacantly along the carpet. I sat, soundlessly adjusting on my couch.

The man took a seat, sucking in a deep sigh of remorse. His hands quaked on top of his crossed legs. "Mr. Kaiba…I am very sorry to inform you of this: but, Jounouchi Katsuya is getting worse." My eyes were blue, blue: stunning, blank, effortless, _blue._

"I came here today to tell you that…and also, to tell you a very important message from Jou. He told me to ask you to come see him in the hospital. He said he knows you are very busy, but he promises he won't take up too much of your time." The man's eyes were cloudy with distressing emotions.

I stared, and as I stared, I couldn't help but feel bare: completely void of anything worth living for. Except one light: one exceptionally bright light, which was dying outside of my reach…

"Tell him I'll be there tomorrow, around two or three in the afternoon." I struggled to speak, as my throat had grown incredibly dry with misuse. The man's aura became slightly more relived. "Thank you, Kaiba. I will tell him for you." I arose, walking him to the door.

Before completely departing, the man turned to me with a serious glint in his hazel eyes. "It is incredibly important that you come tomorrow. I'm almost positive that…Jou wants to tell you how he…_feels_ about you." With a curt bow, the man walked into the distance.

'_His…feelings…for…me?'_ Somewhere within my blank stare, a new emotion started to swim. _Hope._

----

Two passed…and then three. It was six o' clock, and I couldn't stop staring at the clock. My breathing was heavy; so very heavy, and I didn't know if I would be able to push away from the reapers swarming…waiting for the first chance to take me away.

I know he will come: even if he is late, I'm sure of it. He would never leave me like this…he promised me…

That year…

'_That daring, lazily optimistic year.'_

He told me: 'don't worry about it, mutt. I won't let anything happen to you while I'm around. I might even give my life for you…if I felt like it…'

I smiled dreamily. I know he'll come and save me…and I can finally tell him how I feel! I've loved him…for as long as I can remember. I just hope he comes soon…

My breathing became more ragged. _'He'll come! I'm sure of it!' _I smiled an adoring smile, my eyes closing to slits. _'I'll just take a little nap…he'll be here when I wake up…'_

_The nurse came in thirty minutes later and found his lifeless body. _

**----**

It was eight o' clock by the time I finally made it to the hospital. I had become so sleepy after sitting still at my desk all day that I had fallen asleep.

I remember the pounding of my heart so vividly, as I drove over the speed limit to make my way to him as fast as possible. Chanting, over and over in my brain: _'Hold on for me. Hold on for me.'_

As I entered the hospital, tears came to my eyes, but I carelessly brushed them away. I couldn't cry in front of him. Quickly composing myself, I raised my hand, ready to knock on his door…

"Ah, hello. Can I help you?" The nurse who had opened the door smiled politely up at me, eyes shrouded with an intimate secrecy. "Yes, is Jounouchi Katsuya still in this room?" The nurse shook her head. If her body language could talk, it would have said, "I don't want to tell you…"

She cleared her throat, head downcast, quivering just slightly. "I'm sorry." Her frame shook with dignified sobs. "He passed on a few hours ago."

After hearing her words, my soul became enraged. 'Who would dare to take _my_ Jou _away from me?.!'_ Shoving the nurse out of the way, I walked fully into the room. I collapsed, choking on my own spit, choking on my sanity.

There he was: the man who owned my heart.

There he was: the man who had patiently waited for me.

He was gone now: disconnected from everything.

_And it was my entire fault._

---

His wake was held on a day that was partially sunny, but most dominantly downcast.

More people came than I expected: I had no idea that Jou knew some of the mourners. I guess Jou didn't have to intimately know all of them. They were affected by Jou's kindness without him even realizing it.

The hysterical ones: like Tea and Yuugi, could and would not be consoled. I wished that I could be free like that; show such deep emotion in public like that…at least for Jou's sake.

But I couldn't. Not unless it was only Jou and I. I refused to show emotion so openly in front of anyone but him.

"Hey…Kaiba." It was Yuugi. The cute hue of purple in his eyes was misty with tears. "You know, you didn't have to pay for Jou's funeral…" My response was quick, striking, accurate. "I wanted to."

Yuugi crossed his hands behind his back and looked down at the ground. "Kaiba…did you know that Jou loved you? He's loved you for a few years now…I just…thought you should know." Yuugi waved meekly, walking away to hug Tea.

My eyes widened in shock. I didn't know for sure…but…now I did. _'So, he felt the same way that I felt for him…'_

----

When I was positive no one was looking, I went to the room Jou's casket was in. I crouched right next to him, hand softly brushing his cheeks. He looked so peaceful…

I kissed him: right on the lips. It wasn't as I was expecting our first kiss to be. _'So…lifeless'_ He was too cold to be _human_, let alone my Jou.

I couldn't stand to see him like he was. Without that daring smile that would make my worries melt away…

That's when it happened. I fell completely onto my knees, bruising them in the process. Teeth gnashed together, teardrops pelting the floor with sweet, salty kisses, and fists pounding against any available space, I felt all hope become lost within me.

I felt inhuman. _'It was my fault! DAMNIT!'_

Clutching my body with both arms, I rolled on the floor, staring into the abyss. Nothing mattered anymore without Jou.

----

It's all because I was too cowardly to go see him at the next available moment. I could have faced Jou's possible death head-on, but thinking of myself, I didn't want to risk collapsing. So I shied away, hoping I wouldn't have to deal with Jou leaving me.

But he did.

And he left without knowing how much I cared.

That's what I regret the most, today, tomorrow, forever.

I just hope he knows.

'_I love him.'_

----

'_**Don't worry about it, mutt. I won't let anything happen to you while I'm around. I might even give my life for you…if I felt like it…'**_

_**Seto blushed, eyes resting anywhere but Jou's thoughtful face. **_

'_**Aw! Really, Seto?' Seto locked eyes with Jou's hopeful ones, and he knew that he couldn't say no. He meant what he had said with all of his heart. He would give his life for Jou, if that were what it would take. **_

'_**Of course. Now, hurry up stupid puppy, or I might just leave you behind…'**_

'_**Hey! Seto! What happened to yah bein' nice for once?'**_

_**Jou dramatically covered his face with his hands, letting a few fake tears roll from his eyes. 'Man, I could really go for some ice cream right about now…'**_

'_**Jou,' Seto said through clenched teeth, 'would you like to get some ice cream?'**_

_**Jou placed a finger thoughtfully to his chin. 'I don't know…if a really snobby and **__**sometimes**__** really cool CEO decides to treat…'**_

'_**Fine. Just come on, you damn mutt!'**_

_**They both shared secret smiles as they continued along their path.**_

----

_I must be dreaming  
Or we're onto something  
I must be dreaming  
For I don't fall in love lawlessly  
I must be dreaming  
Or pinch me to waking  
So undeniably yours  
As long as I'm losing it so completely_

----

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! PLEASE R&R…or I fear I might go insane from lack of love….AH! –grasps heart dramatically- TNT Till Next Time!

P.s.-Wouldn't it be so like Seto to get too caught up in work or something like that and forget about something this important? I know his intentions are pure...but...anybody else get what I'm sayin? Feh. That was part of my inspiration to write this. Please review! I'll love you forever:)


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